


lose yourself in a chemical moment

by preciousthings



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band), One Direction (Band)
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-24
Updated: 2013-04-24
Packaged: 2017-12-09 08:39:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/772225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/preciousthings/pseuds/preciousthings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"harry’s not about to mess it all up, though. who knows if michael would kiss him back? it’s not worth it to risk one of the best friendships he’s ever had. no way. it’s not going to happen."</p>
<p>or; harry and michael mutually crush on each other for a really long time. that's really it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	lose yourself in a chemical moment

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this for courtney (snowtargaryens on tumblr)!!! she really liked it so uh. here it is. all mistakes are my own!
> 
> title from "stella" by all time low even though the song is completely irrelevant.

the last day of the uk tour is bittersweet. it’s weird; none of them expected to get so close, and now that they are, saying goodbye, even if it’s only for a month, it’s not going to be easy.

harry thinks that saying goodbye to michael is going to be the hardest. he’d gotten close to ash and cal and luke but not the way he’d gotten close with michael. michael is his escape when everything sucks too much and michael is always willing to listen to him and michael stays with him when he has the single because “cal snores and singles are probably really lonely.” and michael is— he’s everything.

harry tries not to get attached. because he knows how this goes. he gets attached and people leave. will left (everyone from cheshire did, really. they don’t even care about him anymore), caroline doesn’t talk to him anymore, taylor left. the boys are all his has left.

he gets attached. and it’s not attachment the same way it is with louis and niall and zayn and liam. it’s the kind of attachment where he just wants to be with michael always and kiss him and stuff. it’s kind of the logical next step in whatever you want to call their friendship. friends to “cuddle buddies” to lovers. that’s just how it works.

harry’s not about to mess it all up, though. who knows if michael would kiss him back? it’s not worth it to risk one of the best friendships he’s ever had. no way. it’s not going to happen.

—

he pulls michael into an empty room backstage after the last show’s over. (he feels like he’s in a movie, pulling michael by his wrist down an empty corridor of the arena, and he doesn’t want his life to be a movie. nope, he’s not a fucking cliché)

“the fuck are you doing, styles?” michael laughs. harry thinks michael’s laugh is one of the best sounds he’s ever heard. (christ, he sounds like a teenage girl with a crush. maybe he is. the crush part, at least)

“‘m not gonna see you for a month.”

“i’m aware.” michael smirks.

“you’re such a little shit, clifford. you don’t even seem sad!”

“cos i’m not,” michael says. he’s trying not to laugh, it’s so obvious that he’s trying not to laugh. he cracks eventually, breaks into this grin that makes harry’s stomach do a backflip. “okay, i am. this was the best month and a half of my life. ‘m gonna miss it. and you. i’m gonna miss you.”

it feels like all the air supply in the room cuts off. he can’t _breathe_. it’s just him and michael in this really small room with really bad lighting and he really wants to kiss michael. “gonna miss you too,” he says. he can’t manage anything else.

“it’s only a month, yeah? i’m sure you’ve got bigger and better things to do like tour the _fucking world_. you won’t even miss me. i’ll be here in dreary, rainy england, and you’ll be in paris and verona and antwerp and some of the coolest places in the world.”

“but i get to do america again with you,” harry says, and it’s true. in a month, they’re in america all summer. that’s two months of sun and playing shows and michael being there. and that’s. it’s better than anything he could imagine. "it's gonna be the best two months of your life, i promise."

“so, is this a see you later? not a goodbye, right?” michael asks.

“don’t wanna say goodbye to you. see you later, michael.”

“wait.” michael pulls harry closes to him and wraps him into a hug. “see you later, harry.”

—

europe is fucking amazing.

but harry can’t wait until he gets to mexico.

he’ll see michael again in mexico.

—

@harry_styles: Reuniting with the emos today. I’m excited .x

@michael5sos: @harry_styles you better be

@harry_styles: @michael5sos I was talking about Cal, Ashton and Luke. Soz .x

@michael5sos: @harry_styles fine be that way i won't hang out with you tonight

—

harry sends michael a text his first night in mexico. _got an empty room. i’m right down the hall doors open .x_ and hopes that he’s not sleeping already.

he’s not.

his door opens a few minutes later and michael slips in to his room wearing a jumper that harry swears is his own.

“long time, no see, styles.”

“fuckin’ missed you, mikey.” harry notices michael’s blush at the nickname and decides _fuck it all, i’m kissing that boy tonight_.

“you know, cal and luke and ash are all convinced i’m in love with you because of how much we texted. and because i wore this jumper a lot. and it’s, um, not mine.” michael laughs nervously.

“crazy,” harry drones. like, what if. what if michael actually is? he’s not, harry’s convinced himself over time. he’s not.

“they might not be wrong.”

“they—”

“—aren’t wrong.”

_shit_ , this is actually happening. he’s not dreaming he’s awake and this is happening. michael is. he’s in love with harry. he’s.

harry can’t wrap his head around this even though it’s everything he’s ever wanted. it’s overwhelming.

“i’m gonna try something, m’kay? don’t say anything, just let me.” harry wraps an arm around michael’s waist, cups his cheek with his free hand, leans in and kisses michael. and michael, he kisses back. it’s a little sloppy (harry thinks it might be the first time michael’s kissed a guy), but it’s better than harry expected. michael flicks his tongue out and runs it over harry's lip, and harry parts his lips to let michael deepen it if it wants.

he does. he fists his hands in harry's hair and kisses him like it's the last thing he'll ever do.

“let me be your last first kiss,” michael whispers into harry’s ear, kissing right below it.

“you can’t use my own songs to try and pull me, ‘s not gonna work.”

“hm, maybe this’ll work, then,” michael presses his lips to harry’s collarbone, right above the swallow tattoo, and sucks a bruise there. “mine,” he rasps, before doing the same thing above the other bird.

“‘s working. god, it’s working.”

“good,”

harry leans down to kiss michael again, this time jt's nothing hot. just a sweet kiss because he can. “can we cuddle? 'm not letting you leave tonight. this single is too big and i want you here."

“you’re like a koala.”

“ _your_ koala.”

once they’re both in harry’s bed, michael’s back pressed to harry’s chest, harry talks again. “are we okay? like, are we gonna be okay?”

“was kind of hoping you’d be my boyfriend. we've got all summer. we can do _this_ all summer.”

“oh. um. boyfriend. okay.”

“is that, like, a problem?” michael rolls around in harry’s arms.

“no. just like the way boyfriend sounds when you say it.”

“harry. boyfriend,” michael presses a kiss to harry's forehead, temples, cheeks, lips.

“boyfriend,” harry hums in agreement. 

falling asleep shouldn't be so hard tonight, because he's got michael in his arms, he can hear michael's heartbeat ringing in his ears, and there's nothing better than that, honestly.

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you liked this x


End file.
